Whenever you are serious, you are limiting your own power Whenever you are serious, you are limiting your own power

Sometimes someone makes a casual remark that unexpectedly hits home.

The first time I attended a Feldenkrais class, last summer, I received some tips afterwards for practice at home, ending with: ‘don’t take it too serious, be curious and playful with it’. I felt the dots connect inside. I read it again. It began to sink in. I was about to take off on a Feldenkrais journey with serious effort, because I felt it could help me heal further. Serious business right? No. Healing is not a serious business. Read on…*

* I wrote this blog in the summer of 2020, but still think it can be an inspiration to many. So here I share it again ♥ Much love, Stephanie

Seriousness is seriously ineffective. Remember to be playful

The remark made the journey through my inner world. I reflected on my current activities, my approach towards it, my attitude towards it. All the same: I dive in with so much vigor and strength, determined to put in maximal effort. For instance: I practice yoga because it gives me so much more energy, strength, flexibility ánd it improves my health (brains included). A great thing ain’t it? So I felt I MUST practice yoga intensively. And there is the block. Where ‘must’ comes in, the ceiling comes too. What you can achieve is suddenly limited by your belief you have to try hard.

The attitude “I am determined to become more flexible” will never gain you flexibility for any effort put in comes from a place of force.

The sword always cuts on two edges: putting in maximum effort is not necessarily a bad thing, not at all. It’s all about the definition of effort. What is effort anyway? In common society effort is seen as trying hard, using force by pushing limits, doing all you can. How often were you not told to try your best? And if you failed after that, there was always the “it’s okay, you tried hard and did your best”. Didn’t we all learn that’s a good thing?

Force is focussed on matter alone

Effort is based on the principle of force. Believing that force actually brings you somewhere comes from a perspective that life is material in a solid world. For instance, if we want something to move we have to push. Or pull. Or put in ever more effort till the point where we drain ourselves and still haven’t achieved our goals. And then we tell ourselves we should have put more effort in it. Or that we weren’t strong enough.

Take the playful route

Yet why is it that with a playful approach you achieve so much more with so little forceful effort? Life is 0,01% matter and 99,9% energy. Called ‘nothing’ or ‘emptiness’ by some. We put in 100% energy in the 0,01% and try to improve our lives. Do we miss the obvious here?  What if we put our energy in the flow of the other 99,9%? Would life not be so much simpler, more enjoyable and achieving goals become much easier?

Improvement in any part of your life does not come from force, but from FLOW. 

In the so-called emptiness you will find the flow of life. An abundant stream of possibilities and probabilities that you create into existence by your very awareness. You give energy to what you focus on. And it is that focus what makes it happen.

Oh but you focussed on your goal but didn’t achieve it, did you? Has ALL of your focus been on your goal? Or did you have some unconscious beliefs that told you it wasn’t possible…

All of this implies that to embark on a playful journey, you have to let go of anything that stands in the way of ease. Worries, fear and other low emotions will pin your attention to what you don’t want. Beliefs in the opposite of what you think you focus on, are quite counterproductive. Like walking forward on a treadmill that rolls backwards…

To live playful, be playful. To be playful, make playfulness your belief.

Having seen that I put in too much force and effort in my current healing process, it traveled deeper within my being: why did I have so much trouble figuring out the right direction for my business? Why is it hard for me to find customers and earn an income? Here as well the answer lies not in what I do, not even how I do it. It’s the mindset behind it. The believe that I have to put in maximum effort. Why is my business not a playground? Why is my life not? Because I had the belief that a business is a serious thing, you need to be serious about business. On typing it, I feel I already ditched the belief. It feels like a ridiculous idea now really.

If there is no fun, then why are you doing it?

Having embarked on this reflection journey, it was easy to travel on and shine light on all of it: in nearly every situation in my life I had used the approach of maximum forceful effort. I have so much willpower that if I share 90% of it with others, I will still have enough left 😉 . Is all that willpower necessary? Is it effective? To an extend, yes, absolutely. It gave me the backbone I needed to make it through the hardship I have been through.

There comes a moment when your biggest strength is your biggest block.

But at one point, your biggest strength becomes your biggest block. There you need to let go. And boy, I had already let go so much of it!  But the root was still in my being. However soft and gentle I can be for myself, in the core there is the attitude of a forceful willpower. A feeling of I must do this, do that, achieve this or that. I feel as if there is a time limit and no space for failure. Which is laughable if I look back, since a lot didn’t work out as planned and still I am alive, in ever better health and I still have a home and money to live from.

Whatever you do, you will end up doing what you came for upon entering this lifetime

Then there is that feeling I need to live life like others do. Like what is considered normal in society. Like what is expected by the mass. With it comes fear: I want to live life on my own terms, but what if I don’t make it? What if I can’t create the life that supports my health instead of draining it to the point where I hardly have any life quality? Again, I feel that I just let go of a lot. See here, if we put it the other way ‘round, I’m saying: what if I have to live life in a way that makes all the illness come back? Why on earth would I? There is no reason for  that to happen, other than that I give energy to that thought. We all know that energy flows where attention goes…


Yes, I transformed these limiting beliefs. In fact, I don't even recognise them as having been mine anymore. I feel much much lighter these days and live from a place of faith and flow ♥ 

Energy flows where attention goes. Always.
So what if you put your attention to playfulness? Take the playful approach and life will answer. In the end what we call our reality is but a mirror reflecting our inner states.

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